Tuesday, September 20, 2011

In Hate with a Boy Named Tetanus

Yesterday was my appointment with the travel doctor as we prepare for our trip to AFRICA (in T-minus one month and one day, holy moly wow!). One shot they recommend when traveling to the southern region of this continent is a DPT shot which is protection for diptheria, pertussis (whooping cough) and tetanus.


The last time I received "the DPT," I was 14 years old. My body responded in the following way: fever, chills, muscle wrenching body aches, all over bitchery and annoyance in how crappy I was feeling.

Kind of like this:


Man, does that look unpleasant, old fashioned lady in the killer striped blouse!

I have not had this injectable since 1998. At the time, after the reaction that left me bed ridden for two days, my doctor said I should only get one if I really need it (e.g. step on a rusty nail or accidentally nick myself on an oxidized blade). However, Africa's one of those places where one's not inclined to fool around with their health.

We have muy expensivo travelers' health insurance that provides for Medivac air transport should any of us get bitten by a seriously poisonous snake or slightly trampled by a baby hippo (I'm assuming getting trampled by any hippo other than a baby won't require a helicopter ride as we'll be pretty dead at that point), but wouldn't it suck to have to leave prematurely because of tetanus?

Yes, friends, yes it would. 

When I brought up my concerns with Herr Doctor, he said my body's response shouldn't be as bad now that I was almost, gulp, double the age I was when I got it the last time (I just made the realization about the age thing... give me a moment while I recover).

So we went ahead with it, but I had to hang around the waiting room for a solid ten minutes before I took off. I'm not kidding when I say this, but I started to feel weird almost instantly... Kind of drunk and loopy. By the time I'd made it home in my car, I had a fever and aches with the intense need to lie down.

I'll compare how I felt to this:


Which I did. Apologies for no Monday post, by the way!

Snug in my bed, I had visions of old fashioned remedies and crazy medical advertisements from back in the day...


Old fashioned people are crazy, right? Cocaine drops and "injectable opium?" I've heard of injectable opium before and I'm pretty sure it's HEROIN, people from 100 years ago. In addition, I think I'd like to be friends with the dude on the right in Dr. Ham's Aromatic Invigorator; he seems to know how to have a good time.

It's the next day, and while I definitely don't feel 100% like myself, I'm not hallucinating or wracked with body aches, which is a vast improvement.


This little lady's ready for Africa, y'all.

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